The Great Banana Bread Fiasco

It started out innocently enough...me buying yeast packets, after all, I plan to open a bakery one day, might as well start learning to bake really well now, right? Well, I had this craving for banana nut bread, and the more the days went on, the more I craved it. (I craved this more than what I craved Twisted Glazed Donuts when I was pregnant with Amber, and I had to have 3 of them every day!) Well, I had the walnuts, the yeast, and everything else I would need on the island in the kitchen, all lined up, ready to do my bidding. I had a good recipe that was rated 4 out of 5 stars from the recipe website I use, and was eager to get going. That's when I found I didn't have the 4 basic things I needed....2 bread pans and 2 mixing bowls....a real duh moment for me. I gave my 2 mixing bowls to the dogs....more food and more water fits in them, and kept meaning to buy more, just never remembered. Well, I get to WalMart and find out they don't have metal mixing bowls anymore, at least not the kind I had, so I got 4 plastic ones....I don't like the lids though, they don't stay on tight enough. Get back home and I'm putting the ingredients in, when it comes to the part about kneeding the dough....well, I do, and then I start wondering when I was supposed to add the bananas. I looked through the directions, read them over and over, and nothing about bananas. That's when I started talking outloud about people who put directions on the computer and don't enter them in correctly. I went back to the computer to find a different, but similar recipe, and that's when I found out that I was the stupid person because I forgot to write down the part about adding the banana mixture. I went back into the kitchen and chopped up and mashed a cup of bananas, added it to the kneeded dough, made it into a sloppy mess and continued with the recipe. After letting it sit for an hour, nothing was rising, so I called up Diana, who didn't bake that recipe, but had me envisioning the episode of I Love Lucy when she bakes the bread, and called up Leslie, who just happened to have her cookbook out. She told me that the yeast could have been bad, to go ahead and bake it, but it would be denser. I decided I would whip up another batch using the yeast that was brand new. Using ALL the ingredients this time, in the correct order, and waiting for the dough to rise, but never did, I decided to bake them anyhow. The smell was delightful. I went ahead and baked the first batch I made too, just to see. Again, mouth watering flavors came out of that kitchen. I sliced a couple slices off and had the boys taste it, and I got a, "That tastes great Mom." Yeah, until I walked out of their room and Patrick spit it out. Brian liked it. Then I gave Danny a smile piece and I took one....not a taste of banana, not one iota. I thought maybe it was because it was hot, so I waited until the next day to have a slice, still nothing. I wrapped up the loaves and gave one to Brian's friend who took it home, don't know if they ate it or not, and the other 3 were here. To my horror the day after that I went to cut a slice and the loaves were like stone. I tried giving some to Hurricane, who will eat almost anything, and she wouldn't even have a bite. Instead of baking another batch, I decided to bake chocolate chip cookies....they almost always turn out, and they did this time....perfectly baked. So now, when I get my bakery, I'll have to find someone who knows how to bake banana bread....or I could just cheat and buy presliced ones, take them out of the package and package them myself.